不会算账
不会算账
最近有两件事使我深切的怀疑自己的素质。
首先是不知道为什么,狸狸同学觉得我鞋很多而脑子很进水的样子,甚至大胆提出了一串玻璃珠换三双鞋的不平等条约,我都不知道是怀疑她还是怀疑自己好,俩个人都是堂堂名牌大学计算机系本科毕业的,不管是看着不会算账,真的不会算账,还是装得不会算账,都说明大学生基本素质需要加强。当然笑嘻嘻又要说了,受过高等教育就不能低素质了么?不准歧视受过高等教育的同学。一定是狸狸同学记得我在大二的西方会计学选修课上只得了通过,觉得有机可乘.....其实那门课我学的很好,不过那个女老师只分通过与不通过,你上当了....
最近用来管帐的网站yodlee 推出开销分类报告功能,平时不记帐的我好奇地看了看自己的开销报告,一看之下非常震惊。首先开销和收入曲线几乎是重合的!就是说我居然是个月光族,完全不符合自己心目中,独立自主,庄敬自强,富有社会责任感.....高大的现代妇女形像。其次的发现除了房子,最大的三种开销是 ............
现款
餐馆
教育
当然,我也惊讶的发现,花在个人护理和衣服鞋子上的钱,微不足道,在彩色的大饼上是那么细小的一条,即使是鲜艳的紫色,也几乎可以忽略。也就是说,我绝不是一粒虚荣的空气脑袋,而是一位爱吃,爱学习,爱花现款的...困惑的想,什么呢?好像没什么现成的名词可形容. 再说了,我也没受什么教育啊? 终于按捺不住好奇,我决定仔细看看它都怎么给花销分类。
看帐真的很烦,没一会儿我就头晕脑涨,不知所以。关键是完全没个边际,数字进进出出,好像都满有道理的,就是放在一起没有意义。我努力回想大学二年纪的会计学选修课,只记得当时最大的感想就是:每节课费那么大劲,什么未知数都没算出来,就是换一种方法把两边弄平了,感觉上没有解决什么问题,向来功利性目的性很强,从小被数学老师教育出来的我,总是觉得作了无用功,非常不爽。老师看我们有气无力的样子,生气的教育我们说,会计里的学问大了去了,别以为这个是枯燥无趣的科目,根据各种法规,选择“弄平”的方法不一样的时候,数字被放在的类别不一样。同样一笔支出,有的算法里是可以抵税的开销,有的算法里是可以折旧的成本,有的算法里就只能算亏损掉了。甚至支出和收入的记帐的时间都有讲究,这涉及被计入哪个财政季度的问题 ... 我仍然有气无力的听着,心里嘲笑的想,这不是朝三暮四的故事么?一共那么几个栗子还不是桃子,吃了就得了,数来数去干什么....直到Enron 倒了台,看他们在电视上挨个表演无辜,president 推说不知道CEO 搞什么鬼, CEO 推说不知道CFO 怎么算的帐,CFO 推说帐都是审计公司安德信同意的,安德信没的可推倒闭了事,CFO 只好把脸一扭投奔光明作污点证人,CEO 就被逼疯了,在纽约的俱乐部里揪着陌生中年妇女上下摸索搜人家身,非说那是来跟踪他的FBI ,FBI 愤怒的说我没有那么闲; president 一直抗着抗着,闷到内伤,心肌梗塞死翘翘了,所以有压力还是应该释放,解决..扯回来啊,我终于意识到会计的创造性和艺术性,不是盖的...桃子到底是算早上还是算晚上,自己左手跟右手把桃子掉个个儿是算俩边用桃子买卖了桃子,还是算俩边互相用桃子抵押借了桃子,都要求CFO在法律的规范下大胆创新,相当于带着锁链跳舞。跳的不好被抓住了,后果很严重。
扯了半天enron 到底要说什么?我也有点糊涂了。嗯,大概是说,不管这个帐在账面上看着怎么有理有据,人的常识还是起作用的,有的不能变没,没的不能生有,铁一般的数字摆在面前,不符合感觉就是不对嘛,不能蒙人。明明月月有结余,虽然不多吧,隔三差五的还是能存上个定期折子,前几个礼拜看利息又涨了0.25%,还悔恨存的早了点,心疼了半天呢,怎么就变成月光族了呢?...一串玻璃珠子要换三双鞋,搭多少感情都有点不大对劲;你对玻璃珠子有感情,我对鞋也有感情哪;你的玻璃珠子是意大利来的,我的鞋也是意大利来的呀;....看来看去,终于弄明白了。原来花旗银行转帐出去的时候,他们给标上提款;ING 转帐进去的时候,给标上了转移。怪不的看上去赚多少花多少呢...解决了这个疑问,我在自己心目中的形象又高大了起来,恨不能自拍肩膀。再看下去,又越看越糊涂。花旗银行内部的俩个账号间转钱,它算成日常杂货开销,所以过去六个月里,花在杂货上面的钱,居然是负数。就是说,我从自己手里用买杂货的名义,白拿了好多钱。这可上算。不对,上什么算啊,吃亏的也是我自己。我开始抱著非把事情搞清楚的决心,一项一项把表错的种类改回来,标了不到十分钟就烦了,心想这是干吗呀,又没有花儿街等著看报告,算了。
抱著勤俭节约的美好愿望,还是看看大笔的钱都花到那里去了。尤其是教育,百思不得其解。把教育类的开销挑出来看了看,噢,这个笨软件。除了几堂兴趣课程学费是标对了,它把所有书店,杂志和学校组织的支出都标上了教育类。所以我在Amazon.com 买的电器,在威廉堡书店买的咖啡桌画册,给校友会捐的款,在诗歌杂志举办的扑克比赛上赌掉的钱,统统被冠以教育的美名...
标餐馆还标的挺准的,被标的都是餐馆,餐馆都被标了。
最后回答大家的疑问:现款都花到哪里去了。其实大家估的差不离,大城市现金用的很多。清洁女工,推拿师傅,做指甲做脸,叫出租车,日常喝咖啡买中饭叫外买,街角小贩摊上买水果,从家边上的肉铺奶酪铺海鲜铺子买食物,衣服干洗鞋子钉跟,一般相熟些的小生意人,即使不强制,也都希望顾客付现金。
结论:我的素质还是很高的。这个软件不会算账, 有待改进。
首先是不知道为什么,狸狸同学觉得我鞋很多而脑子很进水的样子,甚至大胆提出了一串玻璃珠换三双鞋的不平等条约,我都不知道是怀疑她还是怀疑自己好,俩个人都是堂堂名牌大学计算机系本科毕业的,不管是看着不会算账,真的不会算账,还是装得不会算账,都说明大学生基本素质需要加强。当然笑嘻嘻又要说了,受过高等教育就不能低素质了么?不准歧视受过高等教育的同学。一定是狸狸同学记得我在大二的西方会计学选修课上只得了通过,觉得有机可乘.....其实那门课我学的很好,不过那个女老师只分通过与不通过,你上当了....
最近用来管帐的网站yodlee 推出开销分类报告功能,平时不记帐的我好奇地看了看自己的开销报告,一看之下非常震惊。首先开销和收入曲线几乎是重合的!就是说我居然是个月光族,完全不符合自己心目中,独立自主,庄敬自强,富有社会责任感.....高大的现代妇女形像。其次的发现除了房子,最大的三种开销是 ............
现款
餐馆
教育
当然,我也惊讶的发现,花在个人护理和衣服鞋子上的钱,微不足道,在彩色的大饼上是那么细小的一条,即使是鲜艳的紫色,也几乎可以忽略。也就是说,我绝不是一粒虚荣的空气脑袋,而是一位爱吃,爱学习,爱花现款的...困惑的想,什么呢?好像没什么现成的名词可形容. 再说了,我也没受什么教育啊? 终于按捺不住好奇,我决定仔细看看它都怎么给花销分类。
看帐真的很烦,没一会儿我就头晕脑涨,不知所以。关键是完全没个边际,数字进进出出,好像都满有道理的,就是放在一起没有意义。我努力回想大学二年纪的会计学选修课,只记得当时最大的感想就是:每节课费那么大劲,什么未知数都没算出来,就是换一种方法把两边弄平了,感觉上没有解决什么问题,向来功利性目的性很强,从小被数学老师教育出来的我,总是觉得作了无用功,非常不爽。老师看我们有气无力的样子,生气的教育我们说,会计里的学问大了去了,别以为这个是枯燥无趣的科目,根据各种法规,选择“弄平”的方法不一样的时候,数字被放在的类别不一样。同样一笔支出,有的算法里是可以抵税的开销,有的算法里是可以折旧的成本,有的算法里就只能算亏损掉了。甚至支出和收入的记帐的时间都有讲究,这涉及被计入哪个财政季度的问题 ... 我仍然有气无力的听着,心里嘲笑的想,这不是朝三暮四的故事么?一共那么几个栗子还不是桃子,吃了就得了,数来数去干什么....直到Enron 倒了台,看他们在电视上挨个表演无辜,president 推说不知道CEO 搞什么鬼, CEO 推说不知道CFO 怎么算的帐,CFO 推说帐都是审计公司安德信同意的,安德信没的可推倒闭了事,CFO 只好把脸一扭投奔光明作污点证人,CEO 就被逼疯了,在纽约的俱乐部里揪着陌生中年妇女上下摸索搜人家身,非说那是来跟踪他的FBI ,FBI 愤怒的说我没有那么闲; president 一直抗着抗着,闷到内伤,心肌梗塞死翘翘了,所以有压力还是应该释放,解决..扯回来啊,我终于意识到会计的创造性和艺术性,不是盖的...桃子到底是算早上还是算晚上,自己左手跟右手把桃子掉个个儿是算俩边用桃子买卖了桃子,还是算俩边互相用桃子抵押借了桃子,都要求CFO在法律的规范下大胆创新,相当于带着锁链跳舞。跳的不好被抓住了,后果很严重。
扯了半天enron 到底要说什么?我也有点糊涂了。嗯,大概是说,不管这个帐在账面上看着怎么有理有据,人的常识还是起作用的,有的不能变没,没的不能生有,铁一般的数字摆在面前,不符合感觉就是不对嘛,不能蒙人。明明月月有结余,虽然不多吧,隔三差五的还是能存上个定期折子,前几个礼拜看利息又涨了0.25%,还悔恨存的早了点,心疼了半天呢,怎么就变成月光族了呢?...一串玻璃珠子要换三双鞋,搭多少感情都有点不大对劲;你对玻璃珠子有感情,我对鞋也有感情哪;你的玻璃珠子是意大利来的,我的鞋也是意大利来的呀;....看来看去,终于弄明白了。原来花旗银行转帐出去的时候,他们给标上提款;ING 转帐进去的时候,给标上了转移。怪不的看上去赚多少花多少呢...解决了这个疑问,我在自己心目中的形象又高大了起来,恨不能自拍肩膀。再看下去,又越看越糊涂。花旗银行内部的俩个账号间转钱,它算成日常杂货开销,所以过去六个月里,花在杂货上面的钱,居然是负数。就是说,我从自己手里用买杂货的名义,白拿了好多钱。这可上算。不对,上什么算啊,吃亏的也是我自己。我开始抱著非把事情搞清楚的决心,一项一项把表错的种类改回来,标了不到十分钟就烦了,心想这是干吗呀,又没有花儿街等著看报告,算了。
抱著勤俭节约的美好愿望,还是看看大笔的钱都花到那里去了。尤其是教育,百思不得其解。把教育类的开销挑出来看了看,噢,这个笨软件。除了几堂兴趣课程学费是标对了,它把所有书店,杂志和学校组织的支出都标上了教育类。所以我在Amazon.com 买的电器,在威廉堡书店买的咖啡桌画册,给校友会捐的款,在诗歌杂志举办的扑克比赛上赌掉的钱,统统被冠以教育的美名...
标餐馆还标的挺准的,被标的都是餐馆,餐馆都被标了。
最后回答大家的疑问:现款都花到哪里去了。其实大家估的差不离,大城市现金用的很多。清洁女工,推拿师傅,做指甲做脸,叫出租车,日常喝咖啡买中饭叫外买,街角小贩摊上买水果,从家边上的肉铺奶酪铺海鲜铺子买食物,衣服干洗鞋子钉跟,一般相熟些的小生意人,即使不强制,也都希望顾客付现金。
结论:我的素质还是很高的。这个软件不会算账, 有待改进。
Last edited by Knowing on 2006-07-21 9:17, edited 13 times in total.
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Re: 不会算账(cont)
现款怎么算开销?拿出去的现款都买了什么了?Knowing wrote: 现款
餐馆
教育
You did not hear that? Jeff Skilling had a breakdown about 2 years ago somewhere in upper east side. According to police report, He was very drunk, accused the other people in the bar as wired FBI agent. To prove that he tried to search them, and got into a fight.
Given it happened 2 years ago, I don't thin it was an attempt of anything. He was just a bit nutty
He has always been a bit unstable. Have you heard of the infamous conference call incidence? Back in early 2001 before the whole thing melt down, he called a wallstreet analyst who questioned Enron's accounting practise "Asshole", in front of the whole wallstreet on the earning conference call.
Given it happened 2 years ago, I don't thin it was an attempt of anything. He was just a bit nutty
He has always been a bit unstable. Have you heard of the infamous conference call incidence? Back in early 2001 before the whole thing melt down, he called a wallstreet analyst who questioned Enron's accounting practise "Asshole", in front of the whole wallstreet on the earning conference call.
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I thought calling anyone who disagrees with him an "asshole" is a requirement for climbing to the top executive position in an oil, tobacco, financial, media, xxx conglomerate or corporation. (Feel free to also insert the White House, Secretary of Defense, Vice President, Secretary of State, etc., etc.)
What a shame Ken Lay died before sentencing and all his convictions are erased. I wish the civil suits and criminal suits could take every penny from his wife, children, relatives, estate, everybody who benefited from his theft and robbery.
What a shame Ken Lay died before sentencing and all his convictions are erased. I wish the civil suits and criminal suits could take every penny from his wife, children, relatives, estate, everybody who benefited from his theft and robbery.
Are the convictions erased? I don't think so.Jun wrote: What a shame Ken Lay died before sentencing and all his convictions are erased. I wish the civil suits and criminal suits could take every penny from his wife, children, relatives, estate, everybody who benefited from his theft and robbery.
I watched documentary <Enron, Smartedy Guy In the Room>. It was a decent documentary, although not particularly deep and insightful.
Ken Lay's role in the whole Enron fraud was interesting. He did not architect it. Jeff Skilling and a couple of others did. But Ken Lay definitely knew everything, and allowed improper behaviour, because Skilling made him money. Ironically, it was the accounting fraud that killed Enron. And Accounting fraud happened due to the pressure to make money. As the decision maker, he suffered from his own greed, and dragged down 7 billion investor money with him. And he probably sincerely thought he was the victim.
Jeff Skilling was a brillian guy. His vision of Enron might seem ricidious now, but it was actually revolutionary. He reinvented energy market, and Enron took the lead to become the market maker of a lot of energy instruments that were not liquid before. What went wrong was again, the greed. Being the first and biggest market maker, being the pioneer who got there before all the law makers, they did not have work ethic at all. They just took advantage of the customers as much as possible, because they could, and it was not against any written law. And when they did not make enough money, creative accounting became the quick way out. To keep up the amazing number, they went further and further on the road...
The CFO, the auditing firm AA, the lawyers and the wall street bankers, they also knew what they were doing. Again they were not doing anything that were against written law. But they definitely knew they were doing sth borderline wrong -- that was why the fee was so good.
The moral of the story, I don't know. Perhaps is ... Greed is healthy until it becomes unhealthy? Or , enjoy everything in moderation, including your own greed and brilliance? Or, just becuase greed and brilliance are natural, doesn't mean you should indulge yourself?
Last edited by Knowing on 2006-07-21 13:28, edited 1 time in total.
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是啊,叫别的资本家看的心都凉了,白捐了那么多钱,关键时刻掉链子. 跟总统他爸混的烂熟也不管用,权捏在副总统手里。豪情 wrote:所以ENRON倒之前不是还给SNOW还是CHENEY打电话么? 想着这么大的影响政府也许肯出手相救, 结果没有回话.
deregulation 本身不能说绝对是错的。但是在垄断性那么高的市场里,一deregulate 马上就等于任人宰割。能源市场到现在都是一团乱麻,法规特不健全。很多在股票市场上绝对算违法的操作,在能源市场上天天有人干。股票市场上的“中国长城”,在能源市场上就不存在。一个energy trader 跟我们说过:这边接到客户的电话要买什么,马上大声告诉边上自己公司的trader , 让他们赶紧买,把价钱抬一抬,再卖给自己的客户。
把加州搞破产的事情,下手还是太狠了点。借用The Rounder 里的名句:你可以从同一头羊身上剪很多次毛,但是只能剥一次皮。
Last edited by Knowing on 2006-07-21 13:01, edited 1 time in total.
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And BTW, it is true that Lay's convictions will be vacated automatically according to Texas law, because he is dead now and cannot go through the legal procedures for appeals post-sentencing.Knowing wrote:Jun wrote:
I watched documentary <Enron, Smarted Guy In the Room>. It was a decent documentary, although not particularly deep and insightful.
Cheney has enough oil industry ties himself. Halliburton anyone? And the billion-dollar no-bid Pentagon contracts Halliburton got to supply US troops to Iraq (including $45 a pop sodas billed to taxpayers' money)? And all the close-door energy policy meetings he has had with his ex-business partners from all the oil company executives? He has so far refused to supply these meeting minutes to Congressional supoena (? or requests?). Gee, I wonder why.
啊,我以为美国的电力公司就Enron一家呢。Knowing wrote:最倒霉的不是enron 的员工,是原来一些电力公司拿退休金的退休员工,和吃电力公司股票的老头老太。电力公司股票本来是铁饭碗,不涨也不跌,每年派利息,跟债券似的,是老人退休傍身的恩物。稀里糊涂的,电力公司被enron 收购了,旧股票被换成了新股票,新股票又突然变成了废纸....
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