灌水:办公室记(全)

入得谷来,祸福自求。
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洛洛
Posts: 2564
Joined: 2003-12-05 12:35

灌水:办公室记(全)

Post by 洛洛 » 2003-12-12 11:32

1圣诞卡
像别的公司一样,偶们公司也早早做出了些应节的布置:楼下大门挂了一个大大的冬青花环(旧的,红色的圣诞花缎子都有些褪色了);前台放着一个假胡萝卜鼻子的毛线雪人(也是旧的,有点脏了,看着怪可怜的),圣诞卡是早早的寄出去了,还是去年的款式,不过图案上的花环改了一个颜色,还煞费苦心的印出了几位PARTNER的签名,象真的签名一样,这点心思是要有的。
偶们的秘书也把收到的圣诞卡摆出来,越来越多,今儿在众多的圣诞树啦雪景啦花环啦中发现一个扎眼的:花唿哨的图案中间是一张照片,主角人物是一群面目模糊的老少白,二三十位挺挤地站着,还比较是蓝莲花形容的那种“粗蠢之人”,我正在研究这到底是哪个家族什么遗传,秘书误会了我的不良之心,说:这个公司挺奇怪的,你看,就写祝我们“HAPPY THANKSGIVING SEASON”,圣诞新年提都没提。

我一看也是,秘书在旁边又煽风点火:可能是犹太人罢?二老板经过,知道我们聊了什么后说:我们的卡里也没提圣诞呀,有人是不庆祝的,不要得罪了人家。我一看,果然,真小心呀。
昨儿回家,路上听着歌:
IT'S CHRISTMAS, IT'S TIME TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE......YOU CAN'T STAND. 大家共勉。圣诞快乐!

2 有钱人的游戏
刚转到这个小公司时,第一个任务是翻建一幢大房子,水边的,比我在宁静路里想象的那种要大,但也没大的没谱,不至于成为鬼屋古堡。
老屋蓝图摆在老板桌面上,他比划着图上的主人卧室,故作感慨的说:“其实我只要这么一小块就够了。”我赶紧称是,并说:“我需要的更小。”谁有胆子跟老板比阔气呀。
房子的主人姓马孔巴,马宅图纸出来后,交他老先生呈阅。一日他打电话来,二老板跪在我桌子旁边听――椅子不够――马先生一二三的说出他的意见:到地下室的楼梯不要转角,改成直跑的,他的俩儿子喜欢在地下室做模型,转角的怕模型弄不下去,我和老板困惑的对视半秒钟,老板对着电话问:你儿子在下面做什么?TITANIC?
问题一一解决后,他在电话里沉默一会,然后问:能不能在按摩浴缸上装个电视架子?我FT,这种宅子,MEDIA CABINET本来已经没少设计,FAMILY ROOM,主人卧室,酒吧,儿子的游戏室......算算大大小小的电视也该有5,6部了。但他的要求也很正常,很正常,老板想了想,跟他说,把毛巾橱柜改大点,放个电视吧。皆大欢喜。
我的结论是:有钱人都爱看电视。

3 没人会挑剔金钱

第二次在BUSINESS AFTER HOUR里看见二老板娘,我就特别留意她的名牌,是不是改了中国姓。偶的二老板是香港人,娶了这个红头发身材挺好性格也挺好的太太。我小人家没见识,中国女孩子嫁老外的知道,娶外国太太的,挺好奇。
他们有一子一女,很幸福。现在做住家太太,我问她以前干什么,她说是室内设计师,啊,就这么认识我老板啦?不,是BLIDE DATE.
她的朋友跟她说要介绍一个中国人给她,她当时就在电话里跟人家吼:I WON'T MARRY TO DIFFERENT RACE!这我也很可以理解。不过四个星期后,他们就订婚了,对此,她的解释是:HE IS SO PERSISTANT.
她的其他朋友对此都大惑不解,不光是种族,还有她的性格,HOW COME? YOU ARE SO PICKY! 不然也不会等到三十岁。
对此,我的解释是:没人会挑剔金钱,老板的房子我在PARTY去过,临水大宅,旁边邻居都是某银行经理某公司总裁人物,宝马游艇的也不缺什么,简单的说,少奋斗十年,挺好。
Last edited by 洛洛 on 2003-12-12 13:51, edited 5 times in total.

js
Posts: 193
Joined: 2003-12-05 8:20

Post by js » 2003-12-12 11:49

hahahaha... :lol:

笑嘻嘻
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Post by 笑嘻嘻 » 2003-12-12 11:56

我上学的时候,问一个政治系的男生:你圣诞节去哪儿?那个男生教我:不要说圣诞节,有人是不过的。政治不正确。你要说holiday。从此我单说holiday season blah blah. :lol:

豪情
Posts: 21256
Joined: 2003-11-22 18:47

Post by 豪情 » 2003-12-12 11:59

啊, 难怪我兴致勃勃和别人聊圣诞节到了怎么装饰房子, 我老板就讥笑我. 他是犹太人. :(
Last edited by 豪情 on 2003-12-12 13:10, edited 1 time in total.

Elysees
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Re: 灌水:办公室记(CONT.)

Post by Elysees » 2003-12-12 13:07

洛洛 wrote:....
我的结论是:有钱人都爱看电视。
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
The best thing about having a TV in the bathroom......You don't need a book when you are in the bathroom... :oops:

CAVA
Posts: 8169
Joined: 2003-12-06 16:55

Post by CAVA » 2003-12-12 14:37

嗯,鄙公司的贺卡一律是Season's Greeting,近年改成E卡了,倒也节约纸张。其实普通人样样讲政治正确多累,我们又不是媒体,动辄有人来抗议。想起前好几年上海的广播局再三提醒众主持人,又到12月了,没必要多提圣诞这个名词。 :wink:

笑嘻嘻
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Post by 笑嘻嘻 » 2003-12-12 14:54

浴室里装电视这节,我想起来亦舒的有本小说,好像是不是《心之全蚀》?,里面的男主角正在浴室听见电话响,得意地说:很多人都称自己会享受,但是想得到在浴室里装电话的却没有几个。 :lol:

CAVA
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Joined: 2003-12-06 16:55

Post by CAVA » 2003-12-12 14:56

浴室里装的电视4不4需要特别的玻璃屏幕,容易起雾啊。 :lol:

dropby
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Joined: 2003-11-24 12:23

Post by dropby » 2003-12-12 15:04

加拿大还有过议案要给圣诞节改名呢, 后来大家都觉得这个议案神经病.

笑嘻嘻
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Post by 笑嘻嘻 » 2003-12-12 15:56

helen你真可爱。 :lol:

DeBeers
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Post by DeBeers » 2003-12-12 19:07

没人看过那个恐怖片chunky's bride吗?那里有个浴室里装电视的情节,女主角就是因为那个告别大家的 :shock:
钻石恒久远

amber
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Joined: 2003-12-10 1:29

Post by amber » 2003-12-13 1:44

想起来去年收过一个律师朋友的搞笑贺信,巴巴的翻出来,全文如下:
From me (hereinafter called “the wisher”) to you (hereinafter called “the wishee”), please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-additive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all…and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2003, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:

* This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.

* This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wisher are acknowledged.

* This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes.
* This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
* This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

* The wisher warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

* Any references in this greeting to “the Lord”, “Father Christmas”, “Our Savior”, or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
Your Attorney

PRIVACY AND CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE

The information contained in this communication is confidential and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and others authorized to receive it. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, or distribution hereof, or action taken in reliance on the contents of this transmission is strictly prohibited. If you received this communication in error, please notify us immediately by reply e-mail to the sender of this message.

捏着鼻子看完,当时还不明白怎么还有political correct的问题,原来如彼。 :lol:

js
Posts: 193
Joined: 2003-12-05 8:20

Post by js » 2003-12-13 2:23

浴室里用电器很不安全啊
这个让我想起法国一个曾经最最红火的男歌星,风华早逝就是因为泡在浴缸里的时候发现电灯有问题,动手去拧,结果触电。

elle
Posts: 18
Joined: 2003-12-13 4:50

Post by elle » 2003-12-17 0:17

不记得是那一部sydney hilton的小说里也有人是浴缸里触电被弄死的 :?:

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