WashPost article: Sex Education

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WashPost article: Sex Education

Post by Jun » 2006-10-10 6:52

Not much improvement from Kinsey's time.

The more suppressive this society is, the more fascinated people are about sex and sex scandals, like all the hoopla over congressman Mark Foley.

In a puritanical society like the US, no wonder it is the lying cheating hypocritical bastards who get elected into the office and become pillars of the community.

Keep in mind that the report is from University of Maryland, a relatively progressive and forward state, not University of Alabama or Idaho.
Beyond the Birds and the Bees
U-Md. Professor Puts the Human Element Into Sex Education

By Laura Sessions Stepp
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, October 10, 2006; C01



"If we taught driver's ed the way we teach sex education," says the professor, his voice assuming a deep, mocking tone, "we'd be saying things like, 'Stay away from the car. Don't stand next to the car.' Yeah, right."

So it's a perfect time to teach sex these days if you're on a college campus, says Robin Sawyer, a public health professor at the University of Maryland.

At 55, the former soccer striker from Yorkshire, England, has been lecturing students on the perils and payoffs of sex for 22 years. He teaches human sexuality to five sections a year; four of them have more than 200 students. This means about 16,000 students have heard him lecture on everything from crocodile dung (an early recipe for female contraception) to foot fetishes, with anatomy, childbirth, infections and lots of other practical details thrown in.

Students raised on a tell-all media diet are eager to talk about everything, have done a good bit of it, but don't know very much. How strange: They have walked the walk, but they can't talk the talk.

So great is student interest in learning how to talk intelligently about such matters that each semester, Sawyer's course has a waiting list of 100 students or more. This means most of the students are seniors, who get first pick, rather than freshmen, who might benefit more from the course.

The class topic last Tuesday was contraception. Sawyer arrived at the College Park auditorium in khakis and a navy polo shirt and carrying a bag of birth control pills, patches and other props. He scribbled types of contraception on the giant blackboard in order of effectiveness -- Norplant, Depo Provera, oral conception and condoms among them -- knowing that three-fourths of the students there were probably sexually active, half of them since they were 17, and probably fewer than half were using condoms to prevent pregnancy or reduce the possibility of disease.

"The most common form of contraceptive device is prayer," Sawyer says, with the accent that ruled a worldwide empire by its tone of utter authority. Picking up on the students' puzzled faces he adds: "You make a bargain with God. 'Just this once,' you say."

And: "Fifty percent of you aren't using any birth control method except withdrawal. Here's what you say: Sex just happened, it wasn't planned. Or, you broke up with your boyfriend and went off the pill. Or you were so drunk you don't know what happened."

After running through the methods of birth control, he encourages the questions to fly.

Does going off the pill, then on again, affect how well it works? a young man asks. (Short answer: "Yes.")

Some women who have been on the pill say they ended up having trouble getting pregnant later. Is that true? ("There's no scientific evidence to prove that.")

I have these incredibly heavy periods. Will the pill help that? ("Perhaps.")

Sawyer moves on to contraceptive devices. There's a paradox here, he tells the class. As a group, you perform oral sex and other sexual acts more often than past generations, but you still resist using any device that requires touching your genitals.

"A young woman recently told me she liked the idea of a diaphragm; she just didn't want to have to put her hand down there. I said, 'You think it's like a flying saucer? It's just going to go whoosh and fly up there on its own?'

"The best birth control device is the one you're willing to use."

A young man asks Sawyer about timing intercourse around a woman's menstrual cycle, the so-called rhythm method of birth control. Sawyer resists the urge to ask what decade the young man is living in.

"What do you call the woman who uses 'natural' family planning?" he responds. "Mommy."

Sometimes Sawyer learns from the students. Last semester, he split the class into men and women and encouraged them to ask questions of each other. A young man raised his hand wanting to know, "How many of you fake orgasms?"

Sawyer recalls: "Before I could say anything, 90 percent of the women raised their hands. The men's jaws dropped." The women were asked why.

"Didn't want to hurt his feelings," said one young woman.

"Guys just want to go on and on, and we have things to do," said another.

Sawyer is a sandy-haired, reasonably trim married man with four daughters and a cheeky attitude that students love. He has won virtually every teaching award that the 35,000-student university gives.

Apart from student attire, his lecture hall could have been lifted right out of "Kinsey," the 2004 movie about professor and sexual researcher Alfred Kinsey, who stunned America with his frankness and his findings more than half a century ago -- and provoked the sex-education debate that continues to this day.

All eyes are on Sawyer. Many students appear to be writing down everything he says; he actually stops lecturing a couple of times to persuade them to put down their pens and simply listen.

The students will ask or say anything. Frequently they do both.

"Does anal sex cause AIDS?" one young woman recently inquired. "Because my boyfriend wants to have anal sex, and I don't know whether I should let him."

One would think that today's undergraduates might know more. The grade point average of entering students has improved considerably since Sawyer started teaching. "I get a higher intellectual level now," Sawyer says.

But students don't know much more about sex than their parents did, he says. They're somewhat better at preventing pregnancy but continue to acquire life-threatening infections at an alarming rate. He blames this on lousy sex education in the lower grades.

At the beginning of this school year, he asked his class how many had had sex education in middle school or high school. Virtually all listeners raised their hands.

Then he asked how many had had sex ed for at least a semester. Three-quarters of the hands went down. How many had been taught by a certified health professional? A bunch of other hands went down, leaving about five students out of the 200 who had had, in his view, adequate preparation for sexual activity.

Sexuality is a complex psycho-social behavior, he says in an interview, and it takes more than six weeks of lectures by a football coach to understand. Current efforts by political conservatives restricting sex education in the public schools to abstinence-only programs is making a bad situation worse. "There is no scientific evidence showing that dogma works," he says.

Sawyer's ire over political agendas is not confined to the political right. The left, he says, has made it more difficult for his male students to talk about their attitudes toward women. Fearful of being politically incorrect, they're afraid to say, for example, that in certain instances of sexual assault, they believe the women in question bear some responsibility for what happened.

"He's really up-to-date," says student Megan Lhotsky, "and he knows what young people are interested in."

Classmate Matthew Liebman provides an example. He says Sawyer asked him to start a recent class discussion on sexual communication.

"So I asked the girls, 'When a young man comes up to you at a bar and starts dancing, it's natural for his body to, uh, wake up. Is that a compliment or an insult? Do you run away?' "

One thinks of the old line attributed to Mae West, who reached her peak as movie star and scriptwriter in the 1930s: "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

Some questions keep getting asked, generation after generation. Sawyer plans to keep answering them.

© 2006 The Washington Post Company

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Post by karen » 2006-10-10 9:35

A young man raised his hand wanting to know, "How many of you fake orgasms?"

Sawyer recalls: "Before I could say anything, 90 percent of the women raised their hands. The men's jaws dropped." The women were asked why.

"Didn't want to hurt his feelings," said one young woman.
This is funny! :-D

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Post by karen » 2006-10-10 9:35

A young man raised his hand wanting to know, "How many of you fake orgasms?"

Sawyer recalls: "Before I could say anything, 90 percent of the women raised their hands. The men's jaws dropped." The women were asked why.

"Didn't want to hurt his feelings," said one young woman.
This is funny! :-D

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Post by Knowing » 2006-10-10 10:05

"If we taught driver's ed the way we teach sex education," says the professor, his voice assuming a deep, mocking tone, "we'd be saying things like, 'Stay away from the car. Don't stand next to the car.' Yeah, right."
That is funny. That's republican's way. In a Chinese way we teach dirver'ed as following:" Don't drive or even get near the high way until you buy your own car. Because if you have test-driven a lot of dangerous high performance luxuary cars, you might end up in an accident, or get too used to BMWs that you can't afford, thus would not enjoy the little Honda Civic you eventually have to drive on a daily basis."
:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
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Post by Jun » 2006-10-10 10:24

The Chinese way is far worse than that. Actually there is hardly any sex education at all. It's probably worse today than 500 years ago when people had classic novels to teach them what sexual behaviors and desires are about. Nowadays kids learn from daydreams of ignorant, or emotionally starved, or narrow minded, or hypocritical, or downright twisted few losers who call themselves fiction writers.

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Post by Knowing » 2006-10-10 11:04

I don't really know about China's current sex education. But my guess is they are still limited to "how period works" instead of "How to birthcontrol works".
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Post by 火星狗 » 2006-10-10 11:10

500 years ago when people had classic novels to teach them what sexual behaviors and desires are about.
古代小说更像是未得到正确性教育的成年人的YY和想象(和现代的twisted loser差不了多少),不适合给青少年当启蒙教材。
But my guess is they are still limited to "how period works" instead of "How to birthcontrol works".
再加一堆abstinence的重要性。

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Post by karen » 2006-10-10 11:28

With the conservative grass root campaigns being so successful, many schools are teaching abstinence to kids these days. It's so idiotic. Just look at the kids, how long can those pimpled-face kids with raging hormones hold out?

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Post by 森林的火焰 » 2006-10-10 11:37

火星狗 wrote:
500 years ago when people had classic novels to teach them what sexual behaviors and desires are about.
古代小说更像是未得到正确性教育的成年人的YY和想象(和现代的twisted loser差不了多少),不适合给青少年当启蒙教材。
But my guess is they are still limited to "how period works" instead of "How to birthcontrol works".
再加一堆abstinence的重要性。
古代小说是未得到正确性教育的成年上层阶级男性的YY和想象,而且还拿着变态当风雅。直白则直白矣,不过离着正确非常之远,不是一般的远。
http://harps.yculblog.com
搬家了搬家了

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Post by Knowing » 2006-10-10 11:39

火星狗 wrote:

古代小说更像是未得到正确性教育的成年人的YY和想象(和现代的twisted loser差不了多少),不适合给青少年当启蒙教材。
Yeah, it is so easy to pick out loser's YY. If the center of attention in the sex scene is the size of male private part, 99% that is written by a male loser. If the center of attention is how persistently the male pursues the female (despite her objection or coldness), 99% that's creation of a female loser.
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Post by Jun » 2006-10-10 11:43

Not that I have any knowledge at all about 古代小说 or how people back then had sex and lived, but be careful about judging, with swift conviction and absolute confidence, that you or I or any average woman, or "the mainstream popular opinion", knows exactly what is 正确性教育, what is 变态, and what is 正常.

The collective FEAR and LOATHING of innocent, good women of the world...

Even popular fantasies, daydreams, and YY are worth a look (instead of instant dismissal) because they provide a glimpse into the group's desires and anxieties. To understand men, it helps to know a little about their fantasies.

But of course this is another subject I should shut up about in public. Sorry I even brought it up.

Sometimes I wonder whether humans are capable of living without anxiety and fear. It's just not in the cards for us.

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Post by 火星狗 » 2006-10-10 15:02

it is so easy to pick out loser's YY
Is there any winner's YY? :lol:

Knowing
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Post by Knowing » 2006-10-10 15:18

Well, if YY means sexual fantasies, I agree there are good ones. Some are healthy supplement of daily life, since we can't possibly experience everything in life.
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Post by Jun » 2006-10-10 17:33

Yes, even the "winners" with the perfect partner or many partners still have their unmet needs and desires. It is human nature to want something you don't have. It is universal. No need to look down on people who want it because everyone wants something they don't have.

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Post by 火星狗 » 2006-10-10 19:56

恩,我也觉得人们真正YY的是他们得不到的东西,如果得到了(win it),就不会那么起劲了。

YY这个词本身应该不算贬义吧?其实很多阅读和看电影/电视也是YY。

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Post by silkworm » 2006-10-11 10:08

http://www.wangxiaofeng.net/?p=473

哈,好象有人偷看这里的谈话似的。或者说人民群众关心的都差不离儿。

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Post by Jun » 2006-10-11 11:27

No need to 偷看. This is an open forum after all.

Stupid are not the poeple who write and sell these popular manuals, nor even those who buy and read them, but those who actually believe them and try to apply the advice.

Shouldn't he pay for using Bart Simpson's image???

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Post by 火星狗 » 2006-10-11 12:35

原来王晓峰推荐的样板也不过是万峰,五十步笑百步。

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Post by silkworm » 2006-10-11 12:52

我有次半夜看电视,好象是氧气台(oxygen)有个白老太太,拿着教具在做性科普,还带接听观众电话的。

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Post by Jun » 2006-10-11 12:56

Who is 万峰?

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Post by 火星狗 » 2006-10-11 13:24

万峰是杭州某频道午夜性教育节目的主持人,主持风格别具一格,有大量热心听众。还有人搜罗整理了万峰语录放在网上。
一个访谈
http://ent.sina.com.cn/v/2006-05-23/10461089941.html
语录
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/48d706de010004sl
我觉得这就是个活生生的twisted的成年人给青少年作性教育的例子。

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Post by Jun » 2006-10-11 14:51

Interesting. I can see why he is popular.

I don't understand why you think he is "twisted." Rude? yes. Grumpy? yes. Full of attitude? yes. Insensitive? yes. Offensive? definitely. But from the 2 links you gave, I do not see anything he's said that are clearly wrong or that would irritate me (like certain things that irritate him) as much as, say, the relationship advice from paperback romance authors. Some of the so-called advice I've seen are not only wrong but downright harmful, but I don't see anything harmful in his talks.

And when he's irritated and says something extreme, you know he's saying something extreme and would certainly not take it literally.

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Post by 火星狗 » 2006-10-11 15:12

万峰看起来就好像一个主流正派人被领导强迫着主持了一个“下流”话题,在节目里他毫不掩饰他的不耐烦和对那些“有问题”的人的鄙夷,似乎时时刻刻在表明他虽然主持了这个“下流”节目,他仍然是个洁身自好的正派人。不过我大概过虑了,貌似群众并没有打算从他那里得到正确的性教育或者follow他对于性教育的态度,他们更爱看的是他面对性问题手忙脚乱的“王顾左右而言它”。

我说他"twisted"是因为我觉得主流对于性的态度twisted(这一棒子好像扫倒的太多了……),而他是个鲜明的代表。

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Post by Jun » 2006-10-12 13:13

我说他"twisted"是因为我觉得主流对于性的态度twisted(这一棒子好像扫倒的太多了……),而他是个鲜明的代表。
看来我太迟钝了,万峰的那个论点是扭曲变态的,可以指出例子吗?我倒没看出来,还以为他发脾气是因为不耐烦问的人都太无知了。

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Post by 火星狗 » 2006-10-12 13:31

还是没表达清楚。 :oops:

我在这里用“twisted”表达的是mainstream对sex education遮遮掩掩,讳莫如深的态度,如果一定要提到,就是故作高深或者鄙视,其实是拿它当taboo。Sex education的第一课应该是教育青少年用平常心来看待sex。我反感万峰就是他的态度,他的观点没什么毛病,中规中矩。

万峰的节目大概不能算sex education,其实是拿sex来娱乐群众的节目。真要搞sex education,还是要百毒不侵,耐心一流的老太太上阵比较好。

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Post by Knowing » 2006-10-12 13:43

啊?难道你没看出来,他对性有特别不洁的感觉,不讲正确的性知识,也不宣传什么是安全的性,什么是避孕,一味就是叫人不要做。
 问:我的男朋友是个在读研究生,比我大很多。他对我很好,我高考的这段时间一直支持我。考完那天我到他的实验室去玩,他又对我提出了那种要求。以前他也提过,不过我说等我考上大学再说。可他说高考都已经考完了,我已经是个大人了。我虽然没有答应他可是我觉得他说的也对,我不知道应该怎么办,我不是很想要,但是也很好奇,而且我不想他不高兴。万峰老师,我该怎么办呢?
  万峰:拒绝他!扯淡
这就非常非常错。女孩子在十七八岁的时候,男朋友要求做爱是非常常见的情况,一味叫女孩子拒绝是不实际的,只能加深“性是不正当”的感觉,对她以后的性生活毫无帮助,对现在更没帮助,应该告诉她说:“做不做,只跟你自己有关。但是你首先要知道怎么保护自己,保护自己很重要的一点是学会正确使用避孕套,不能做无保护的性。更重要的是学会说不,如果对方不肯使用保护。跟爱没关系,这对你以后生活影响非常大。”
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Post by Jun » 2006-10-12 14:03

啊?难道你没看出来,他对性有特别不洁的感觉,不讲正确的性知识,也不宣传什么是安全的性,什么是避孕,一味就是叫人不要做。
No, I didn't see it. I guess it's my bias or underlying assumption that he was annoyed that he was being asked these basic and elementary quesitons.

Yeah I guess he does have an attitude that these girls are being taken advantage of or pressured into having sex by their boyfriends. I guess I didn't sense it as 一味就是叫人不要做, but rather "do not have sex because your boyfriend is trying to pressure you to do it."

Well, his advice (what I see on the 2 links) is not very informative. Women who keep having abortions should be verbally smacked a bit, but then you also need to tell them where to get condoms and contraceptive drugs.

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Post by 火星狗 » 2006-10-12 14:42

我赶紧凑上前来拍MP,还是小K一语中的。

我老实承认,兄弟我年轻的时候在杭州,由于好奇曾经受过他的荼毒。他在做广播的时候,从头到尾就是一种不耐烦的语气,仿佛可以看见电波的那一头,坐着个紧皱眉头,不以为然的正派中年男。进了他节目的人,不管有理没理,年轻小姑娘还是中年男,诚心请教还是有意犯错,无一逃脱被挖苦讽刺的命运,好像谈到“性”就是原罪。

JUN真以为这个是专业/不那么专业的性教育节目?那个时候其实有好几个性教育节目(暴露了兄弟我当年爱听午夜台的不良嗜好),也真的有年轻姑娘主持的,耐心的给人家念标准答案的节目。可是最后火起来的是万峰,我小人之心度观众之腹的说,很多听众其实对获得正确的答案一点也不感兴趣,他们主要从万峰对于其他人的挖苦讽刺里得到乐趣,而且话题还是平时大家避讳的性。

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Post by Knowing » 2006-10-12 14:42

No matter talking to men or women, he always just assumed the men was pressuring the girl into sex.
Also, I think it is extremely important to tell the girl it is their OWN responsibilty to do birthcontrol correctly and make sure they use it during sex. Don't think it is man's job. If he doesn't even get that message accross, he isn't doing the basic job of sex education.

Also ,when facing someone with 3 abortion records, he should have asked what their problem with birth control was. Man may dislike condom, which is common, but have they tried female condom? Or birth-control pills? When someone asked "We had unprotected sex last night/ 2 days ago", he should have provided information about morning-after pills, which could have solved problem better than "Why did you have unprotected sex?"
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Post by 密斯张三 » 2006-10-12 16:28

看他的访谈,我觉得他挺reasonable的,有时候回答问题急躁,可能更多是怒其不争。“顾左右言他”的,我觉得更多情况下是观众支支吾吾。再者,语录体难免断章取义,并且肯定是选取最政治不正确、最有娱乐效果的。“拒绝他!扯淡”之外,总该也有上下文。

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Post by Jun » 2006-10-12 18:01

Obviously Dr. Ruth he is not.

I have never heard his programs so I really don't have any credible opinion about him.

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